Dear Dog,

I know summer’s coming and so, apparently, do you. However, I’m not willing to even nominate this as spring yet, so let’s hold off on the getting up at 5:30 for a while. Also, that deal where we let you in the bed so you go back to sleep for an hour or so? That’s weekends only, since that was the one time you got up before us. Remember winter, when you were less mobile than a piece of furniture before 8am and we had to beg you to get up so we got the honor of meandering around the freezing ‘hood with you? Given your habit of (and I don’t want to be harsh here) sleeping the better part of the day away, how about you pretend there’s a big, fat sunbeam on your bed until 7am or so and we reschedule your appointments with the squirrels?

Sincerely,

Your Pal

P.S. It’s a queen-size bed and you’re a pint-sized beagle. Any idea how come there’s no room once you show up?